Vanuatu Baby!!!!

Here we go on a couples retreat...  Sally and Keith, Natalie and Quinten, Hillary and Lou (the lion).  Yep we were off to VANUATU.  Stopped through Brisbane on the way (but I'll write about that in one post at the end).  So we are at the airport, can't wait to get on our flight and learned that it was delayed.  I won’t go into the whole story, but lets just say the drama and effort that went into scheduling, rebooking, rechecking, confirming, rescheduling and finalizing our flights was ridiculous.  



But instead of complaining and starting off on a downer we got some food, and the English and South Africans were taught a new and exciting game - Go Fish.  It’s amazing how a game that was from the past, so long ago has made five adults extremely entertained.  We played for a good two hours and they had started to learn some to the strategies of this “oh so simple” game.  As it turns out – Go Fish became one of the staples on our trip.  What do you do when you are sitting around drinking?  Go Fish.  What do you do when you are sitting on a beach relaxing?  Go Fish.  What do you do when you are waiting for the tour bus?  Go Fish.   

Anyway, we finally made it on the plane, and two hours later touched down in Vanuatu.  Vanuatu is a small island country close to Fiji.  The capital is Port Vila (on the island of Efate) where we stayed.  Known for exchanging currency in the Vatu (okay maybe they aren't know for it, but they do it).  1 AUD = approx. 83 Vatu - which we rounded to 100 Vatu.  So when I bet Keith 1,000 Vatu to jump into the ocean it was really only for $10 which he never took...bummer.

We were there for one thing and one thing only…to go diving!!!  Okay, we did other things, but diving was a highlight – but that comes later.

We got to our resort – Mangos – which not ironically did serve quite a few mango dishes.  We threw our stuff in our fancy pants huts (?) – not sure hut is the right descriptor, but they were kind of like really nice huts – mine even had a balcony and off to happy hour.  Sally and I started with the cocktail of the hour…a Blue Mango.  



Some more Go Fish, a bit of dinner, some wine, lots of singing of “this $hit is bananas – B-A-N-A-N-A-S, a dirty joke about Uncle Jack and an elephant and then we were on to the Baileys.  I’m not sure how the night turned so quickly, but the guys at the resort were a bit confused about Baileys and coffee, luckily Andrew (our main man) figured it out…kind of.  We got what kind of looked like a coffee with cream on top.  Then Sally tried it – and it turns out the cream on top was actually sour cream.  Not nice.  Somehow Keith and Natalie got through it – but Sally and I just couldn’t handle it, so off it went…the rest of the drink tasted like warm Baileys, not sure there was any coffee. But we keep going – now we are after some Kava.
What is Kava you ask?  Some might think of bubbly wine, but I assure you in Vanuatu you are not getting anything bubbly.  Well, unfortunately (maybe fortunately) our resort didn’t serve Kava, so we had to wait till the wait staff were finished and they took us down to the local Kava bar.  The Kava bar looked like someone’s back yard with a small canopy to sit under and a small bar with the medicine lady standing behind.  The whole situation was sketchy.  

Then it got even more sketchy – we paid 150 Vatu (yes $1.50) for a cup of Kava.  The medicine woman pulled out a bucket from under the bar and dipped in five bowls into what looked like dirty water.  Well, yes, it was dirty water and we did drink it – and it tasted as bad as it looked.  The locals have the saying, “Tastes like hell, feels like heaven.”

Hmmm heaven is not what I was feeling.  Out of my mind is more of how I felt.  My tounge started to go numb, pretty sure my throat did as well, and at that time we all decided we should probably go back to the resort.  The whole was back is kind of a blur – I’m sure there were some good conversations but I don’t remember them.  

Got back to my hut and wrote down some notes so that I could remember the day…and all I got was, “tongue numb – insides not right – hallucinogenic?”  Next thing I know it was like 3am and Hillary was sick – not the best way to start a trip.

Turns out Hillary was sick for an entire day (so I won’t write about that one) – but somehow all the others made it through…not sure how.  We find out later that Kava is typically drank before dinner and BEFORE any alcohol has been consumed.  It is made from the root of the kava plant that is mixed with water (so the fact that it looked like dirty water meant that it was probably the real stuff).  Anyway, we conquered the Kava (it might have conquered me) and we can say we have been there and done that (and probably not ever going to do that again).